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Wisdom for an age of wise guys.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Life's briefest moment is the time between reading the sign on the freeway and realizing you just missed your exit.
- No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
- A clear conscience is usually a sign of poor memory.
- After all is said and done, a he _ _ of a lot more is said than done.
- Always remember that one effective way to deal with things that want to eat you is to taste terrible.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a sign that says "No exit".
- If you must choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before.
- Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
- Change is inevitable....Except from vending machines.
- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
- If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
- Everybody repeat after me.... We are all individuals.
- Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- Half the people you know are below average.
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not the sport for you.
- Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then it's pretty safe, since you're a mile away AND you have his shoes.
- Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
- Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
FORWARDS :: SELF
Note regarding forwards posted on this site is available here.
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