For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down....and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
"What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Well you see:
Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men.....are well.... men.

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This satellite image released by GeoEye Satellite Image on Friday, Aug. 3, 2007, shows the Interstate 35W bridge, center left, in Minneapolis Thursday, Aug. 2, 2007. The eight-lane Interstate 35W bridge, a major Minneapolis artery, buckled during the evening rush hour Wednesday. (AP Photo/GeoEye Satellite Image)

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A seven legged lamb is pictured on its farm at Methven near Christchurch in the South Island of New Zealand, Tuesday, July 31, 2007. Veterinarian Steve Williams said he believed a misprint in embryo formation had resulted in the lamb being born polydactyl, with many legs, a condition that occurs once in several million sheep. (AP Photo/Ashburton Guardian, Susan Sandys)

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Ryosuke Shinohara reacts as a seal swims in a pillar-shaped tank during a press preview of Fureai Lagoon, where visitors can interact with living marine creatures, at Hakkejima Sea Paradise in Yokohama in south of Tokyo July 24, 2007. The new attraction opens to the public on July 27. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao (JAPAN)

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Beaded style : A model displays a creation by Lebanese fashion designer Ella Zahlan as part of Fall/Winter 2008 Haute Couture collection in Rome's Auditorium Hall during the Fashion Week.(AFP/Filippo Monteforte)

A FOOLISH man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
 Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
 After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC